Right to Life & Death

Yesterday, I was accosted by a group of people as I passed an abortion clinic. They demanded that I listen to them, take their fliers and donate money to their cause. I watched as they locked arms together and chanted a message to a young woman who was just trying to deliver a package to the law office in the same building. I knew they were committed to their cause.

There are a lot of people who are quite committed to their various causes. I see them virtually every day; when they’re not out in public, they can always be found on TV. The causes they extol are as varied as snowflakes in winter. I will often see some of those same people demanding that lives be taken--usually the life of a convicted criminal--but also on occasion, the lives of a specific group that are despised for some minor physical difference, i.e. skin color, or religion.

What I rarely see is people demanding the right of a person to take his/her own life. Suicide in this country is considered a crime (attempted suicide, anyway; it’s hard to press charges against a dead person). I’ve never particularly understood the person who can demand the death penalty of a criminal in one breath, but deny that same criminal the right to commit suicide in another.

Granted, I can certainly understand that the people who wish to commit suicide are generally in a state of extreme depression, and that it is difficult to get such people to form a group and protest their lot in public. It would seem, however, that the people who insist on protesting the invasion of a person’s privacy by taking away their rights as individuals have no interest whatsoever in allowing that person the individuality they claim to be fighting for. They seem to be far too interested in requiring individuals to give up their individuality, and join the group; they would rather say that individuals should be the same as everyone else, and everyone else does not commit suicide.

I don’t know about anyone else, but there were times when I wanted to commit suicide. At one time, I was living in constant fear for—of all things—my life. I wasn’t worried of losing it; on the contrary, I was afraid of living it. I had just accepted the fact that I was gay. I hadn’t told anyone; in fact I hadn’t even told my best friend. All I could think of was what it meant to live as a gay person. I didn’t want to have to live that life (not that I knew how). I was in constant fear of discovery, and all I wanted was to die.

I realize that may not seem logical, especially in this day and age, but I wasn’t using logic at the time—I was afraid. I was living in a highly conservative town, in a highly conservative family, surrounded by highly conservative peers. Living my day-to-day life as it stood was difficult; being gay made it impossible.

I didn’t actually try suicide; being gay wasn’t the only thing I was afraid of. Death was a big question mark. But I was definitely considering it. One of the things that kept me from doing it was the thought that if I failed, I’d end up in a worse situation, committed to a psychiatric institution.

The point of this story is that a person should have the right to commit suicide. I agree with others’ views that said person should spend a little time putting his/her affairs in order beforehand; this would, at the very least, prove a person’s resolve. As an example, one of my friends from college was very successful. He worked for a record company in California, and lived in San Francisco. He was diagnosed with AIDS due to a blood transfusion (not gay), and rather than deal with the pain and other problems, he chose suicide. He didn’t just quit; he closed all his accounts, cashed in his life insurance, settled all his debts, and placed his remaining cash in a trust for his family (not married, just relations). He then chose to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. I don’t know how he got by the security fencing, but where there’s a will, there’s a way.

When it comes right down to it, I believe that a person is entitled to his life, as he sees fit, provided he doesn’t harm another person. This being said, he is entitled to act in any manner, say any words, and worship (or not) any deity. He is also entitled to end his life if he so chooses.