Sometimes Doctors Are Worse Than Lawyers

I heard a joke about lawyers quite some time ago that seemed to fit them.

"Q. What do you call 100 lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?"
"A. A good start!"

Well, lawyers can be a pain, but really, sometimes doctors are worse!

Let me give you an example.

Last night, I hurt my back. I've been hurting my back quite a bit lately, but this time it was more painful than the others. I decided to call my doctor.

This morning, I somehow managed to hurt my back again, making the pain more powerful than before. Now I really needed to call the doctor. I called my doctor's office (my Primary Care Physician [PCP]), but I got nothing but busy signals all morning. I called later, hoping to actually reach someone. Finally I reached his office, a little before 2pm. Here's where the fun began.

The secretary asked for my identification. Once I confirmed who I was, I explained the problem with my back. She told me I needed to see an Orthopaedist, and I should contact that department. She very nicely gave me the phone number for Othopaedics.

I called Orthopaedics, who asked for my ID. I confirmed that I was who I said I was. Again. I asked for an appointment, and was told that I would probably need a referral. As such, I would need to call my PCP. You know, the office I just called before this one?

I called my PCP again. I was told that I probably wouldn't need a referral, but I'd best double check with my Insurance Company. "Please call them and ask."

Now I called my insurance company. I was told I wouldn't need a referral because Orthopaedics was covered as a part of the HMO (Health Management Organization) I have. I only needed to make an appointment with the Orthopaedics office.

I called Orthopaedics again. After going through the rigamarole of identifying myself again, I was told that I was calling the wrong department. Apparently the Orthopaedics department had been so overwhelmed by patients with lower back problems, they hadn't been able to deal with other patients very well. They had placed that problem into a department called "Pain Management and Rehabilitation". Please call them.

Next, I called Pain Management and Rehabilitation. I identified myself. They told me I needed a referral in order to make an appointment there. I explained that I had been told I didn't need a referral, and they explained that the referral was an internal thing relating to the fact that their department was so very specialized.

Hmmm.

Now I called my PCP again. I was told that Pain Management and Rehabilitation was correct, and that I needed a referral. I asked them for one. They said that due to some screw-ups in the referral system lately, I was required to set up an appointment with my PCP before any referral could be made.

Erg.

I made the appointment. I'll be seeing my PCP tomorrow. I'll have to drive 20 miles away, so I can tell my PCP my problem, so he can give me a referral, so I can make an appointment with the Pain Management and Rehabilitation doctor (on another day), and then drive 20 miles back, so I can go to work (late), and try to get some work done in spite of the pain, which probably won't have stopped so much as a whit.

I often wonder who it was that decided to place a bureaucratic organization in charge of the medical industry in this country. I'd like to chain them together, and drop them in the Mariana Trench (the deepest point in the ocean). After the pain in my back stops.