Sick & Tired of Being Sick

For nearly 4 months now I have been dealing with sickness. Beginning with the root canal that didn’t work (requiring me to get the tooth pulled), and sorry, no refunds. Next I begin to have trouble eating. Oh, joy! After years of being a dairy product lover, I’ve become lactose-intolerant! 90% of my diet just went south; now what do I do? Now the doctors are telling me I’ve got Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), and I’ve got to move to a bland and soft diet—no more food, just sustenance. Say goodbye to red meat, high-fiber foods, legumes, soda, chocolate, caffeine, and anything that even remotely reminds me of flavor. Oh, and by the way, my illnesses have killed off all my sick- and vacation-time, leaving me wondering if I’m going to have a job much longer. Assuming I live long enough.